In the Fifth Season of the hit sitcom, Seinfeld, Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) starts dating a guy named Aaron (Judge Reinhold). Aaron is a “close talker,” someone who stands too close to people, invading their personal space. The episode is funny because we have all encountered a close talker who made us uncomfortable with their distance (or lack thereof). I have a few tips for handling close talkers:
- Invite the person “talk while you walk.” Tell him that you want to talk to him, but that you need to restock some books (or get papers, or whatever) and then have him follow you. This allows you to control the distance between you. (THIS IS MY FAVORITE!)
- Try to position something (like a table) between the two of you, so that the natural barrier keeps the person at a distance. The key to this (and the hard part) is to casually slip behind the table without being obvious.
- Invite them to talk to you sitting down (on opposite sides of a table).
- If nothing else works, you can use a little “alternative fact.” Ask the person if you can take a step back because you forgot deodorant this morning (or forgot to brush your teeth, or whatever). This works because you aren’t making it about them and because it is just weird enough to be disarming for most people. (Note: you are going to ask if you can step back, not ask the patron to step back).
Have a great week!
Peace,
Ryan
www.homelesslibrary.com
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